Every parent would say that they love their children, but sometimes that love is not appreciated by your kids or they just don’t understand it. But have you wondered what your children’s love language is about?
Dr. Gary Chapman found that there are 5 love languages that globally people express. Those 5 include acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. And yes, kids develop them as they grow up. So as parents especially in Asia, you can observe and discover the primary love language of your children.
Acts of Service
As Asian parents, you would almost always do things for their children just so that their children can live comfortably, such as to cook, clean, carpool, grocery shop, do laundry, repeat. To you, these activities may be chores, but to some of them, it shows that they’re loved. However, make sure to recognise those requests and be sensitive to how you respond to them.
Who would say no to gifts? When your children’s love language is gifts, they would enjoy not just receiving them but also giving them. Gifting your children doesn’t have to be expensive to make it count, because sometimes it’s the thought that really counts. If this love language is carefully translated, then this expression of love can often extend into later years.
Children with this love language will flourish when you give your undivided attention to them. Either the knife down, television off, phone away or chores on standby, being present in the moment would show them that they’re important and you like being with them. In the end, it’s not so much of the activity, but rather the time spent together.
Words of Affirmation
Saying what you feel for your children may come off super awkward, but it is important to your children who have this love language. Encouragement and praise may be sustaining to them, but affirming their efforts and abilities would nurture their sense of security and self-worth. Just remember that the quote, “The tongue is sharper than the sword” stands true for these children in this category as you speak to them.
Asians generally don’t fancy physical contact other than hand holding with children or between young couples, and hugs between friends. To those of you whose children have this love language, a pat on the back, sitting close to each other, and hugs would mean more than enough. Your non-verbal cues to them would mean a lot to them more than you think.
In the end, children will need all 5 love languages to understand what fullness of love looks like. Alternatively, you could also do this quiz together with your children to find out in detail about their love language.