How Dads Can Help with Breastfeeding: 15 Practical Ways
Here's a truth many new dads don't realise: Your involvement directly impacts whether breastfeeding succeeds.
Studies show that fathers who actively support breastfeeding increase the likelihood that their partner will breastfeed longer. You may not have the equipment, but you absolutely have the power to make or break this journey.
This guide is for every dad who wants to be there for his partner and baby—but isn't sure exactly what to do.
Why Your Support Matters (The Research)
Before we get into the practical stuff, here's why this matters:
- Partners of supportive fathers are 10x more likely to initiate breastfeeding
- Maternal confidence in breastfeeding is directly linked to paternal support
- Mothers who feel judged or unsupported are more likely to quit early
- Postpartum depression rates are lower when fathers are actively involved
Your presence, encouragement, and practical help aren't just "nice to have"—they're essential.
What Every Dad Should Know About Breastfeeding
First, some facts that will help you understand what your partner is going through:
It's Learned, Not Automatic
Despite being "natural," breastfeeding is a skill both mum and baby need to learn. It can take weeks to establish properly. Patience is crucial.
It Can Be Painful
Sore nipples, engorgement, blocked ducts, mastitis—these are real and painful. Don't minimise her discomfort. Acknowledge it and help where you can.
Supply Takes Time
Milk supply is established in the first few weeks through frequent feeding. This means your partner may feel like she's constantly feeding. That's normal and necessary.
Cluster Feeding is Normal
Babies often feed every 30-60 minutes during growth spurts. This doesn't mean she doesn't have enough milk—it's how babies increase supply.
She's Hungry and Thirsty
Breastfeeding burns 300-500 extra calories per day. She needs food and water constantly, especially during feeds.
15 Practical Ways Dads Can Help
1. Be Her Cheerleader
Say things like:
- "You're doing amazing"
- "I can see how hard this is, and I'm so proud of you"
- "Whatever you decide about feeding, I support you"
Avoid: "Are you sure baby is getting enough?" or "Maybe just give a bottle." These undermine confidence.
2. Educate Yourself
Attend breastfeeding classes together. Read up on:
- How milk supply works
- Signs of good latch
- Common problems and solutions
- When to seek help
When you understand the process, you can help troubleshoot instead of just watching helplessly.
3. Master the Night Shift
You can't breastfeed, but you can do everything else at night:
- Bring baby to mum for feeds so she doesn't have to get up
- Burp and change baby after feeds
- Settle baby back to sleep in the cot
- Handle early morning wake-ups so mum gets extra rest
4. Be the Snack Supplier
Keep a "nursing station" stocked near wherever she feeds:
- Water bottle (refill it constantly)
- Healthy snacks (nuts, fruit, crackers)
- Phone charger
- Lip balm, tissues
- TV remote
Bring her meals while she's feeding. She's literally stuck there—be her delivery service.
5. Protect Her Rest
Sleep deprivation is brutal. Help by:
- Taking baby for walks so she can nap
- Handling visitors (limiting visits, managing expectations)
- Taking over morning duties on weekends
- Encouraging her to sleep when baby sleeps
6. Own the Household
In the early weeks, her only jobs should be:
- Feeding baby
- Resting
- Recovering
Everything else—cooking, cleaning, laundry, groceries—is on you (or outsourced).
7. Learn to Bottle-Feed Expressed Milk
If she's pumping, you can:
- Do late-night bottle feeds so she gets a longer sleep stretch
- Feed baby while she pumps (multitasking!)
- Store and organise expressed milk
- Wash and sterilise pump parts and bottles
Pro tip: Pace bottle-feeding to mimic breastfeeding speed. This prevents baby from preferring the faster bottle flow.
8. Be the Gatekeeper
When visitors come:
- Give her a private space to feed if she's not comfortable in public
- Field comments and questions so she doesn't have to
- Politely limit visit duration
- Shut down unsolicited advice
"She's doing great—we're following our paediatrician's advice" is a good deflector.
9. Handle the Pump
Breast pumps have many parts. Take ownership of:
- Washing all pump parts after each use
- Sterilising according to instructions
- Setting up the pump before she needs it
- Troubleshooting if suction seems off
10. Know the Warning Signs
Learn to recognise when something's wrong:
- Mastitis: Flu-like symptoms, red/hot area on breast, fever. Needs medical attention.
- Blocked duct: Painful lump. Heat and massage can help.
- Thrush: Shooting pain, shiny nipples. Baby may have white patches in mouth.
- Baby not gaining weight: May need lactation consultant.
Don't diagnose—but do notice, and encourage her to get help.
11. Bond Through Other Activities
Feeding isn't the only way to bond with baby:
- Skin-to-skin contact — Shirt off, baby on chest
- Bath time — Make it your special thing
- Baby massage — Lots of YouTube tutorials
- Nappy changes — Yes, really
- Reading and singing — Babies love dad's deeper voice
- Baby wearing — Carry baby in a sling or carrier
12. Advocate at the Hospital
In the first few days post-birth:
- Request a lactation consultant visit
- Ask nurses to show proper latch technique
- Push back if formula is offered without medical reason
- Make sure she's comfortable before leaving her side
13. Manage Your Own Feelings
It's okay to feel:
- Left out (baby seems to only want mum)
- Helpless (you can't fix the pain)
- Frustrated (nothing seems to work)
- Exhausted (you're sleep-deprived too)
These feelings are valid—but don't dump them on her. Talk to friends, family, or a counsellor. Your job right now is to support, not be supported.
14. Support Her Decision—Whatever It Is
If breastfeeding isn't working out, or she decides to stop:
- Don't push her to continue
- Don't make her feel guilty
- Remind her that fed is best
- Help research formula options if needed
Her mental health matters more than feeding method.
15. Celebrate the Wins
Acknowledge milestones:
- "One week of breastfeeding—you did it!"
- "Baby's gaining weight—your milk is perfect"
- "You've been so strong through all the challenges"
Small celebrations keep morale up during tough times.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can dads bond with baby if mum is breastfeeding?
Absolutely! Bonding happens through skin-to-skin contact, bath time, nappy changes, baby massage, talking, singing, and carrying baby. Feeding is just one small part of bonding. Dads who do other baby care often develop incredibly strong bonds.
Should I suggest formula if breastfeeding is hard?
Generally, no. This can feel like you don't believe in her. Instead, suggest calling a lactation consultant, or ask if she wants to talk about how she's feeling. Only bring up formula if she raises it first, or if there are medical concerns about baby's weight.
How can I help with breastfeeding at night?
Bring baby to mum, do the nappy change, burp and settle baby back to sleep. If she's pumping, you can do bottle feeds with expressed milk to give her longer sleep stretches. Handle early morning wake-ups so she can rest.
What if the confinement lady handles everything?
Common in Singapore! Even with a confinement nanny, you can still provide emotional support, spend time with baby during the day, and learn care routines for when the nanny leaves. The nanny is temporary—your role is permanent.
My partner wants to quit breastfeeding. What do I say?
Listen first. Ask how she's feeling. Don't try to convince her either way. Say something like: "I support whatever you decide. Your wellbeing matters most. What can I do to help?" Then follow through on whatever she needs.
A Note on Mental Health
Watch for signs of postpartum depression or anxiety:
- Extreme sadness or crying
- Withdrawing from baby or family
- Difficulty sleeping even when baby sleeps
- Loss of interest in things she used to enjoy
- Thoughts of self-harm or harming baby
If you notice these signs, gently encourage her to talk to her doctor. Postpartum depression is common and treatable—but needs professional help.
The Bottom Line
You may not be able to breastfeed, but you can be the reason breastfeeding succeeds. Your encouragement, practical help, and emotional support make all the difference.
This is equal parenting in action. Half the baby care (minus the milk) is yours. Own it.
"The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." — Theodore Hesburgh
And right now, loving her means being her biggest supporter through one of the most demanding things she'll ever do.