Starting up sex again after the birth of a child can be a fraught issue for new parents. We chatted with blogger Holly Jean (www.hollyjean.sg) about this and how couples can overcome the challenges.
1. How do I feel sexy again after giving birth?
By not comparing your postpartum body to other women, especially models and fitness moms on Instagram! Be realistic. Have an end-goal in mind when it comes to getting your pre-pregnancy body back and work steadily towards that target. There will be an improvement and you will feel a sense of achievement with every step. This will build confidence and make you feel sexier. Also, get some nice lingerie like a sexy and well-fitted bra, because it’s too easy to settle into very ugly (but functional) nursing bras which don’t make me feel sexy at all!
2. Leaking milk and constant feedings wears me out. How do I get into the mood when my husband wants to make love to me?
Being “In The Mood” is a mindset. The question is, do you want to make love? If yes, then it’s something you’re looking forward to. If no, then why not? Perhaps you need a little more time to heal. That is ok. Or, maybe you do feel like having intimacy but it’s really just exhaustion that is putting you off. Then tell your Husband the issue! Unfortunately, not all men are proactive, considerate, and hands on. Some need a lot of prodding before they will lend you a hand, and ease your load a little bit sometimes so you can get some respite.
3. How to have great postpartum sex?
There’s no such thing. Hahahaha. Kidding. Great sex at any time, postpartum or not, comes from understanding and meeting each other’s needs at that point. Great sex doesn’t have to be a highly charged wham-bam! It could be sex in a gentle, spooning position in bed.
4. What are three surprising things I need to know about sex after giving birth?
If you’re breastfeeding, it gets damn dry down there! No matter how turned on you are, it feels like the Sahara, so penetration hurts! Prepare some lubrication.
You will want to punch your partner if he touches your breasts. Hahaaa. So make sure to give him the heads up to stay off the nipples etc if they are sore from feeding baby 12 times a day.
Your body heals pretty amazingly.
About Holly Jean:
Holly Jean is a lifestyle blogger and mum to a rambunctious toddler. She loves sharing her adventures as a first-time mum as well as her life experiences and lessons learnt.